Putting my make-up on and trying desperately to find an outfit were the least of my worries as my emotions seemed to be running rampant. As I paced around my room I just kept asking myself, outloud, "What does one wear to hear another persons fate?".
After I finally got myself together I began the emotional drive to the courthouse. This was it , the moment that we had been waiting for and I was unprepared for the sadness that I was experiencing . Actual sadness for this young man.. on one hand I wanted him to spend time in jail and rehab for what he had done to my friend and then on the other I just kept thinking how he was throwing a part of his lifetime away.
Then I began pondering again the million dollar question, "What makes someone have a sick and awful compulsion to HAVE to hold and grab and touch someone thay have never met?!" He was in dark clothing that night and I truly believe that he had been stalking my friend.. waiting for the perfect moment to carry out his sick plan.
Jessica, Ruth, and myself all sat together in the courtroom trying to stay calm as we waited for the verdict. I felt my stress mounting as I sat there staring at the side of his face and the back of his head. He was somber but smiling and I could tell that he thought and hoped the verdict would be somehow in his favor.
His mother sat behind him by herself. She looked numb and tired. I cannot imagine how heart wrenching this has all been for her... I began thinking about his family and how they believed his story. They truly thought and ,think that this is all a mistake, a misunderstanding a miscalculation of events. They believe that James fell on top of Holly on accident and that she just misunderstood his help for harm. I wonder if they still believe him.
I was told that in many court cases there is first a verdict hearing and then a few months later comes the sentencing. Based on this knowledge I assumed that we would hear the verdict and then all go home.. including her attacker. I thought this process would be straight forward and take about 10 minutes.
When the judge came in he looked serious and somber. He got straight down to buisness and in about five minutes after his arrival we heard the verdict. Guilty of kidnapping. I was shocked. I thought he would be guilty of something but I thought this judge would give him a lesser offense.. because her attcker is so young. Wow was I wrong. This conviction comes with a mandatory 20 year sentence. while the judge talked my eyes stayed glued to the back of James's head. I found myself trying to see his response.
His lawyer was visibly shaken. He looked like he was going into a state of shock. Then came the next verdict. Guilty of sexual assault. This was to a lesser degree then they had charged him but can carry a five year sentence on it's own. The Judge went on to explain that he believe that Mr. Carvalho- Apo did not let Holly go until he was forced to by Jason Prior.
I saw his lawyer lean over and ask him if he was ok. He seemed to shake his head in a "yes" response to her. The Robert, holly's lawyer stood up and asked that his bail increase, from 150,000.00 that his family had already posted to 500,000.00. Robert said he feared that James would hurt himself, flee, or harm again if he was released. His lawyer asked the judge to not increase the bail since he had been "good" for the last 18 months and was trying to plan a wedding to his girlfriend!!!!!!! The judge then increased the bail by 100,000.00 dollars saying that he was not sure how James would react once it settled in that he had been convicted of these crimes.
This is when I begin to cry. I see two court bailiffs come in to guard the entrance and exit of the courtroom. It starts dawning o me that there is no way this kid is going to see freedom again for at least the next 10 to 20 years. I actually believe that I began feeling part of his anxiety that this is it.. there is no going home and getting that one last kiss from his girl, or eat that one last favorite thing.. or anything. This is it.. the time behind bars is beginning .
I cry for my friend who was horribly attacked.. and has to live with those memories for the rest of her life. I cry for his sickness that led him to delusional and sick thinking throughout this whole process. I cry for the miracle that holly is still here with us... and that it really could have been a different story written here.
There are no winners in situations like these.. I know that the word says that the Lord will make ALL things work together for the good to those that love and obey Him. I believe it and in that I can say Holly is a winner but I know that she will live with the physical wrestling of him in the past and will have days that she wrestles with the idea that this young man has changed his destiny by making an insane and degenerate choice.
Have mercy on us all ....
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